Accident Prone Knitter

Here you will find musings about knitting, home renovation, travelling, sports and the myriad of things I delight in. "Out into the brimming, sun bathed world I sped"

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Location: Central Pennsylvania, United States

I've lived in California, Montana, Idaho, Colorado, Toronto and Pennsylvania. I'm a retired police officer, and I've worked in accounting and payroll related fields for the last several years.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

The joy of living in the country?

We spent the weekend doing home improvements. MFB had a terrific idea on Friday when we went to our local home improvement store. Rather than buy a new front door to replace the scruffy looking one we have, he suggested we get paint to match the cranberry colored storm door he installed in December. Great idea as really the door just needed to be spruced up. It turned out great. Of course because he was also painting the door frame the doors were propped open for a time during the day. I was working in our jungle yard spraying weeds and laying paper to kill grass where we want some garden beds.

So tonight the coffee's on and I'm fixing a chicken stir fry for dinner and out of the corner of my eye I get the feeling that our ceiling fan just started. Only problem is, we haven't had a ceiling fan in the kitchen for several months. I know you're thinking it was a bird, right? No such luck, LB is back. LB stands for two different things. Little B@$!@%) or Le Bat, depending on my mood, tonight my mood was the first one.

I was a police officer, there's not a whole lot that scares me. Everyone has a "fight or flight instinct", the "fight instinct" is the dominate one in a police officer and mine never failed me. I haven't been a cop for several years and the only two times my "flight instinct" has kicked in was last year when LB showed up in the house (door was open during the day then too), and tonight when he returned.

Last year MFB used his best homerun swing, and he has a good one, with a broom and knocked LB out, then swept it towards the front door to get it out. Only problem was I was standing by the front door, so my first instinct was to step on it. When I did that, LB woke up and started making that little squeak. OK - EWWWW. MFB used the field goal kick method, my foot acting as the Quarterback's finger, and kicked it out the front door. I wanted it dead and told MFB I wanted it dead. He asked why and I said "because he's going to go tell all his friends how he got in" (insert petulant whiney tone). Well the little b______ flew away before MFB could comply with my request.

So tonight when I said "Oh no" when MFB was in the other room and shrieked, yes I did shriek last year I freely admit I shrieked and will admit to the day I die that when I see a bat in my house I shriek, "there's a bat in the house and this one's BIG." There were probably some colorful words used as well. Flight instinct you betcha - right into the bathroom and shut the door. I didn't even turn the heat off on the stove. MFB saved the dinner, and my sanity, he grabbed the broom and followed the bat upstairs, where he tells me he believes he killed it and threw it off the upstairs deck into the road. MY HERO!! I swoon. He came downstairs and asked if I was ready for my coffee and I said "NO, I WANT TEQUILA" Dinner was edible, and my pulse rate three hours later is back to normal.

Of course the two shots of tequila with orange juice might have something to do with that.

Now we have to hope there's no retribution from LB's friends.


Anonymous twig said...

Oh I can help with this. We have a bat every year -- should be showing up next month (he visits at the end of July or beginning of August) like clockwork.

Get to a sporting goods store and buy a fishing net -- one with a LONG handle and the net part with very small mesh. It's sorta like butterfly hunting except with a bat. Then you just catch the bat, take it outside and release it.

The first year it freaked me out, but now I laugh when it finally arrives because as it gets closer to the end of July we ask each other, "Do you think tonight will be the first visit?" After the first visit, he/she usually visits every night for about a week then we're bat free in the house until the next year.

I think bats just like certain houses whether they're in the country or not. We actually live 1/2 mile from the center of town in a very populous area. Our lot is pretty wooded though. But we have bats, racoons, skunks, possums, etc. *laugh* We had to move downtown before we every got wildlife.

11:32 PM, June 18, 2006  
Anonymous Dipsy D. said...

Arghhhhh! No one can or will blame you for shrieking with that bat, and certainly not for the tequilas! I've got such a big horror of bats! I know it shouldn't be like that, they're pretty small creatures (usually) just trying to survive, in close up they even have sweet little faces - but I wouldn't want to see such a sweet little face in my house, actually not even anywhere near me! Gosh, the horror! I kept having these nightmares as a kid that a bat (or a hundred of them, depending on the strength of the nightmare) were heading for my head and getting stuck in the hair, so that's probably where my horror originates.
The thought of you having that thing in your house sent me shivers down the spine, I guess you did an amazing job of strength with drinking just a few glasses of Tequila - I would have gulped down the whole bottle :)

2:56 AM, June 19, 2006  
Blogger Kish said...

Thank you for stopping by my site :). Your bat adventure was too funny! We had a bat at school during the last week that was stuck in our hallway. Took the janitor quite awhile to get it out (he ended it's life). Of course the students went insane over the whole incident.

I hope you enjoy the ticker tape purse pattern. I have found that the material is really stretchy, so I would either knit it double stranded, or add a liner in the purse. I would also make the straps a bit shorter, as they will stretch out too. I get compliments on it when I am out all the time. People are always wanting to feel the ticker tape. It was a great yarn to work with! Good luck with your knitting, and I'll be stopping by again for sure!

9:08 AM, June 19, 2006  
Blogger Joanne M said...

Eeee-eww!! Great hubby for handling that "blue" chore and then standing by with the coping mechanism (a.k.a. tequila). Well, the door is painted now, so the screen can stay closed and the *&$# bats can stay outside.

9:54 AM, June 19, 2006  

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